The X Files (1 of 3): Actions vs. Words



Ever since I can remember, I’ve been told that actions speak louder than words, but how do you reconcile when someone’s actions are telling you the exact opposite of their actual words? And when your heart is conflicted, which should you be listening to?

That perfectly describes my relationship or lack thereof with X. It always amazes me how in one breath he can so easily tell me that he’s not ready for a relationship and that we are just buddies, but in the next breath, kiss me like you only kiss someone that holds a significant place in your life and heart.

Calling it confusing would be the understatement of the year. So, where do I go from here? If I can’t decipher his actual feelings about me between the muddy waters of his actions and words, is this a relationship that I can afford to keep in my life? And if I proceed, will I only end up wishing I was like the Tin Man without a heart? After all, you can’t break something that is non-existent right?

You probably feel like I have gone in circles with this piece and I guess that’s the point that I’m trying to convey. My relationship with X has been an endless cycle of taking one step forward only to take two steps backwards. It has left me higher than the greatest high at times and broken and confused at others, and I’m slowly starting to realize that actions may speak louder than words, but words matter and sometimes you better listen.

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