I ran into my ex recently and after over a month of not seeing each other, his response to seeing me left me confused and simultaneously reaffirmed the power of silence. The fact that the mere sight of my face could leave him speechless was unexpected and admittedly, it was excruciatingly painful for me to fathom the hurt that came with being ignored.
We hadn’t had a bad breakup and to my knowledge, neither one of us had been unfaithful, yet unbeknownst to me, there was obviously some bad blood lingering between the two of us.
So, I ask the question, can one moment ruin weeks, months or even years of feelings between parting adults? Furthermore, how do you co-exist in a small town without letting the rage of a broken heart take flight?
I wish I had answers, but I don’t. Before this incident, I thought being cordial would be easy for us. Hell, I even thought we would be friends.
Yes, I had asked for “the break” and admittedly, I stayed in the relationship longer than I should have, but none of that justifies his response or lack of a response to seeing me. I guess the “Happy Birthday” text I sent a week earlier didn’t break the ice in the way I had hoped and simply made it chillier.
In theory, it would be nice to lead separate lives like two ghosts in the night, but we live in a city with a gay scene so small that running into each other and attending the same events is inevitable. So, how does one cope with the mixed emotions that circle your psyche whenever you see an ex?
Well, the answer will be different for each situation and only the two people in the midst of the struggle truly know when they have come to an amicable place. It could take days, weeks, months and in the most extreme cases, even years.
For me, I realized that time and space is the only appropriate response to his actions. Obviously, this is someone that I cared about and knowing the emotional human being that he is, I quickly established that him shutting me out is his way of coping with things not turning out the way that either of us envisioned. We both went into the relationship with the best of intentions and whether we realize it now or not, everything happens for a reason.
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